Yesterday, I was shopping and saw a woman from the corner of my eye. The first thought I had of her was, “oh hm, she seems lovely.”

So I turned my gaze to the side to offer a kind smile. My mind paused for a moment, and I could only silly laugh because it turned out that I was standing next to a wall mirror, and came to be smiling, at myself.

That woman was me. 

I never really had a lot of feedback from others, and whatever feedback I’d received, I never truly understood, or believed it. It probably didn’t help that I’d rarely thought to, or knew how to take time and understand who I was, and who I am, to even come to know this person. It was so pleasantly surprising that from my peripheral vision, I’d thought so kindly and so well of myself. 

There have been many moments where I’ve reconized beautiful benefits of taking this leap across the ocean into a new land, on my own. Today, another learned benefit is that I’ve come to spend the majority of my time with my self. I’m so proud to know that I’ve come to see myself so well. 

Carl R. Rogers, a revolutionary in psychotherapy wrote various texts on the self. Within his text, On Becoming a Person, he quotes Soren Kirkengaard’s words, 

“to be that self which one truly is.”

What a simple and silly thought. This process of doing so, if not fostered at an early age is difficult, and can take much time and effort. I don’t think I’m fully there, or really will ever be fully there. I am, however, very glad that I see myself well, and lovingly. 

A Roald Dahl reminder to myself, as learned experientially:

“If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely”

Anna Badrieh